THINK about what you THINK ABOUT… and if you catch yourself thinking about unhappiness, ill health and adversity, “change the channel” and think about what you want to happen!
• When something happens by chance, follow up. Lucky people tend to notice and act on good things that occur by happenstance.
• Believe that good things will happen. Expectations have a way of coming true.
• When bad things happen, look for the bright side; i.e., “what did I learn from that?” or, “how do I keep it from happening again?” Don't dwell on it, move on!
• If the horse dies, dismount. Don't continue to pour money and effort into a lost cause.
• Don’t look for love in the wrong places… not just romantic love but the love of “stuff.” Stuff is O.K., but understand the delusion of “I'll be happy when I have this or that,” or “when I live over there,” or “when this happens.” Happiness is a state of mind in which our thinking is pleasant most of the time.
• Failure is a CHOICE made by the undisciplined. Failing to meet your objectives, regardless of what they are, is a choice, because something else has been given higher priority. If you fail, it is because you choose to fail.
• You don't “catch” depression and you don't “catch” happiness… you “create” them by the thoughts you put into your mind. Carefully choose what you read, listen to and the people with whom you associate.
Get Ego Out of the WayI once asked Abraham Maslow, “What do you mean when you say self-actualization?” He said, “There are just two things to remember: one is to learn to become independent of the good opinion of other people, and the second is to master the art of being detached from the fruits of your labors.”
For example, you may experience turbulence in your life. But you can learn how to remove yourself from the turbulence and see that it’s just your body going through it.
When you become the observer, you detach yourself from the outcome. You get your ego and everything in the material world out of the picture, and you allow the highest part of you to observe the circumstance. You remove all that inner turbulence, anguish, fear, and anxiety, and you then replace it with the calmness of a detached observer. The minute you sense that calmness, the solution is at hand. You’re not operating from adrenaline or fear or angst.
When you face a crisis or deadline from the perspective that you only have so much time and “have to hurry,” you become one more person who brings stress and anxiety to the problem.
It’s in the taming of the ego that you find the sacred in your life. You find greater strength when you can stop being so focused on you and your bottom line and start reaching out to others.
They said of Jesus and Buddha that when they went into a village, their very presence raised the consciousness of those around them. They radiated a blissful serenity. That kind of peace is where you can resolve virtually any difficulty.
One of the great teachers in my life was Carl Jung. He died when I was four years old, but he wrote a book called Modern Man in Search of a Soul wherein he talked about four stages that people go through to reach maturity.
The highest stage is the stage of the Spirit. This is when you finally recognize that you are not an athlete, a warrior, or a statesman, that you are in this world, but not of this world. You recognize that you are not a human being having a spiritual experience, but you are a spiritual being having a human experience. In a sense, this life is all very temporary; this life is like a garage where we park our souls for a time, but our inner spirits are not so confined. The mystery of that is what we call unconditional love. When you are able to live this unconditional love you will have achieved this final state.
It doesn’t happen if you try to figure it out using logic or look for results in the material world. When you start taking your attention off of building your business so you can make more money—and instead put your attention on serving everyone who comes through your door as best you can—your energy begins to spread...and the more people become attracted to your office.
That energy becomes infectious, because it promotes more of that love—and as it does, your bottom line becomes blacker and blacker. But your awareness is always focused on serving. You let the bottom line take care of itself.
It has worked for me in my organization. My profits, my sales, my bookings have just gone up and up over the years, and I have less and less concern with how I am doing.
So, Lighten Up
You do not have to strive to prove anything—unless, of course, you choose to listen to your omnipresent false self, which stipulates that if you don’t stay busy pursuing something you are a failure.
It can be difficult to lighten up and understand that life is what happens while you are making other plans. Each and every instant of your life takes place in the present moment.
Using your present moments to chase after future moments is an ego-based activity. Your ego wants you to feel incomplete so that it can control your life. Your false self would keep you in perpetual motion chasing after more and more until your final breath.
Your higher self does not want you to be lazy or without purpose but to realize the power in knowing that this moment is your entire life. When you stop focusing on past or future moments, you release the stress and tension that accompany the striving lifestyle. With that release, you become more productive and peaceful than you are when you look behind or ahead of yourself and don’t allow your mind to rest in the still center or the present moment.
Contrary to what your ego attempts to convince you, you will not simply vegetate, become homeless or an irresponsible drifter when you stop striving. What will happen is that you will lighten up and become so engrossed in your mission that you are more vibrant. With this power, you will discover that you are free to serve whatever you are intuitively drawn to.
When you stop striving and start knowing that you are on a divine mission, and that you are not alone, you will be guided to the experience of arriving. That experience will introduce you to the bliss of being in the realm of spirit, where there is no worry or guilt.
When you encounter a personal dilemma about what you want to go after in your life, turn the decision over to your sacred self: “Decide for me. I leave it in your hands.” Then let go and listen. Your answers will come as you develop the internal willingness to allow your higher self to guide you. Miraculously, the right person will show up and say precisely what you need to hear, or you will be guided to the right source. To do this, you must let go and allow your higher awareness to exercise itself.
When you allow yourself to be still, you will understand the futility of constant striving and chasing after more.
Keep in mind the advice offered in A Course in Miracles: “Only infinite patience produces immediate results.” By giving yourself moments for appreciation, you allow yourself the freedom to arrive rather than strive. You choose to be free of ego demands and allow the loving presence to be felt.
Excellence in Action: Learn to be still.
It's Not Over Until You Win!
As someone well acquainted with life’s ups and downs, I savor the good times as a gift. I think it is important to enjoy those times when life smiles upon you. But I believe also that it is unrealistic to expect good times to last forever. For most of us, life offers abundant opportunities for both laughter and tears. The good times you put in your pocket to savor. The hard times go to your heart and into your soul.
Our ability to handle life’s challenges is a measure of our strength of character. And yet, where do we learn how to deal with those challenges, hard times, and difficulties? Where do we enroll in Life 101? Where are the classes for dealing with the loss of a job, the death of a loved one, the failure of a relationship? Unfortunately, those lessons are mostly learned through trial by fire, and the school of hard knocks.
No wonder so many people feel lost and alone when they are going through hard times. No wonder so many turn to alcohol, drugs, and even suicide. How many times have you heard someone in distress say, “I can’t see a way out. I feel so alone. It’s over for me”?
"It is your absolute right to experience and enjoy the best that life has to offer."
But no matter how difficult your life may become, no matter how hard you get it, there is always reason to keep on going and fighting because you can survive and thrive. After encountering difficult times, setbacks, failures, losses, and defeats in your life you can reach the point where no experience in your life is too difficult to overcome, no defeat is permanent, no failure overwhelms you. You can look beyond temporary setbacks and fight your way through them by understanding that it is not only within your power, it is your absolute right to experience and enjoy the best that life has to offer.
Often, people do not consciously focus on dying, but they stop living. It is wrong to do that. It is a waste of your gifts and talents to give up on life. It is a betrayal of the love others have granted you. You have to live dynamically. We all have to keep focused, even through the hard times, on our dreams and goals. We have to monitor our thoughts and reject negative thinking and negative people who hold us back.
Failure and defeat and loss afflict us all. Expect it, learn to deal with it. And then learn to get back after life without waiting for an invitation. One way to do that is to trust in a power greater than yourself, and to believe that good things are going to follow, that great things will occur when you get up, dust yourself off, and go after life with determination and courage.
Learn to take life on, to live it passionately and courageously, and to never let a failure or a defeat stop you for more than the time it takes you to acknowledge it, recognize its impact on your life, accept it, learn from it, and then move on.
Excellence in Action: Failure and defeat and loss afflict us all. Expect it, learn to deal with it. And then learn to get back after life without waiting for an invitation.
Get Ego Out of the Way
once asked Abraham Maslow, “What do you mean when you say self-actualization?” He said, “There are just two things to remember: one is to learn to become independent of the good opinion of other people, and the second is to master the art of being detached from the fruits of your labors.”
For example, you may experience turbulence in your life. But you can learn how to remove yourself from the turbulence and see that it’s just your body going through it.
When you become the observer, you detach yourself from the outcome. You get your ego and everything in the material world out of the picture, and you allow the highest part of you to observe the circumstance. You remove all that inner turbulence, anguish, fear, and anxiety, and you then replace it with the calmness of a detached observer. The minute you sense that calmness, the solution is at hand. You’re not operating from adrenaline or fear or angst.
When you face a crisis or deadline from the perspective that you only have so much time and “have to hurry,” you become one more person who brings stress and anxiety to the problem.
It’s in the taming of the ego that you find the sacred in your life. You find greater strength when you can stop being so focused on you and your bottom line and start reaching out to others.
They said of Jesus and Buddha that when they went into a village, their very presence raised the consciousness of those around them. They radiated a blissful serenity. That kind of peace is where you can resolve virtually any difficulty.
One of the great teachers in my life was Carl Jung. He died when I was four years old, but he wrote a book called Modern Man in Search of a Soul wherein he talked about four stages that people go through to reach maturity.
The highest stage is the stage of the Spirit. This is when you finally recognize that you are not an athlete, a warrior, or a statesman, that you are in this world, but not of this world. You recognize that you are not a human being having a spiritual experience, but you are a spiritual being having a human experience. In a sense, this life is all very temporary; this life is like a garage where we park our souls for a time, but our inner spirits are not so confined. The mystery of that is what we call unconditional love. When you are able to live this unconditional love you will have achieved this final state.
It doesn’t happen if you try to figure it out using logic or look for results in the material world. When you start taking your attention off of building your business so you can make more money—and instead put your attention on serving everyone who comes through your door as best you can—your energy begins to spread...and the more people become attracted to your office.
That energy becomes infectious, because it promotes more of that love—and as it does, your bottom line becomes blacker and blacker. But your awareness is always focused on serving. You let the bottom line take care of itself.
It has worked for me in my organization. My profits, my sales, my bookings have just gone up and up over the years, and I have less and less concern with how I am doing.
So, Lighten Up
You do not have to strive to prove anything—unless, of course, you choose to listen to your omnipresent false self, which stipulates that if you don’t stay busy pursuing something you are a failure.
It can be difficult to lighten up and understand that life is what happens while you are making other plans. Each and every instant of your life takes place in the present moment.
Using your present moments to chase after future moments is an ego-based activity. Your ego wants you to feel incomplete so that it can control your life. Your false self would keep you in perpetual motion chasing after more and more until your final breath.
Your higher self does not want you to be lazy or without purpose but to realize the power in knowing that this moment is your entire life. When you stop focusing on past or future moments, you release the stress and tension that accompany the striving lifestyle. With that release, you become more productive and peaceful than you are when you look behind or ahead of yourself and don’t allow your mind to rest in the still center or the present moment.
Contrary to what your ego attempts to convince you, you will not simply vegetate, become homeless or an irresponsible drifter when you stop striving. What will happen is that you will lighten up and become so engrossed in your mission that you are more vibrant. With this power, you will discover that you are free to serve whatever you are intuitively drawn to.
When you stop striving and start knowing that you are on a divine mission, and that you are not alone, you will be guided to the experience of arriving. That experience will introduce you to the bliss of being in the realm of spirit, where there is no worry or guilt.
When you encounter a personal dilemma about what you want to go after in your life, turn the decision over to your sacred self: “Decide for me. I leave it in your hands.” Then let go and listen. Your answers will come as you develop the internal willingness to allow your higher self to guide you. Miraculously, the right person will show up and say precisely what you need to hear, or you will be guided to the right source. To do this, you must let go and allow your higher awareness to exercise itself.
When you allow yourself to be still, you will understand the futility of constant striving and chasing after more.
Keep in mind the advice offered in A Course in Miracles: “Only infinite patience produces immediate results.” By giving yourself moments for appreciation, you allow yourself the freedom to arrive rather than strive. You choose to be free of ego demands and allow the loving presence to be felt.
Excellence in Action: Learn to be still.
Character and Competence
To be a 21st century leader, you must have two things: competence and character. I’ve met a lot of leaders who are very competent, but they lack character. And for every job they do well, they seek a reward in the form of promotions, awards, or decorations—in the form of getting ahead at the expense of somebody else or in the form of another piece of paper that awards them another degree. And the only reason they want the decoration is to secure a faster route to the top. These may be very competent people, but they lack character.
On the other hand, I’ve met many leaders who have superb character, but they aren’t willing to hold their own feet to the fire; they aren’t willing to pay the price of leadership. They are not willing to go the extra mile, to do the extra little bit. Those extras are what it takes to be a great leader.
Not Being Watched
I look for both character and competence. I would never send a leader who lacked one or both of these vital attributes into battle. Because when you lead in battle, you are leading people—you are leading human beings. A competent leader will stand in front of a platoon of 44 people and think of them as a platoon. But a great leader will stand in front of the same platoon and think of them as 44 individuals, each having hopes and aspirations and wanting to live and do a good job.
So, you must have competence, and you must have character. Some great man once said that character is best seen in men and women when nobody is watching them. It’s not what people do when they are being watched that demonstrates character; it’s what they do when they are not being watched that demonstrates true character. And that’s what leadership is all about.
Excellence in Action: Be trustworthy when no one else is around.
In Pursuit of Excellence
I have the goal of being the best, but I approach everything step by step using short-term goals. When I meet one goal, I set another reasonable goal I can achieve if I work hard. Each success leads to the next one. Each time I visualize where I want to be and what kind of person and player I want to become. I approach it with the end in mind. I know exactly where I want to go, and I focus on getting there. As I reach those goals, I gain a little more confidence. It’s all mental for me. I never write anything down. I just concentrate on the next step.
I’m not afraid to ask anybody anything. Why should I be afraid? My attitude is “Help me; give me direction.”
I could apply that approach to anything I might do. It’s no different for the person whose goal is to become a doctor. All those steps are like pieces of a puzzle. They all come together to form a picture. If it’s complete, you reach your goal. If not, don’t get down on yourself.
Don’t Think About Failure
I never look at the consequences of failing. Because when you think about the consequences, you always think of a negative result. If I’m jumping into any situation, I’m thinking I’m going to be successful—not about what happens if I fail.
Some people get frozen by fear of failure by thinking about the possibility of a negative result. They might be afraid of looking bad or being embarrassed. I realized that if I was going to achieve anything in life, I had to be aggressive. I had to get out there and go for it. I don’t believe you can achieve anything by being passive.
I know fear is an obstacle for some people, but to me it’s an illusion. Any fear is an illusion. You think something is standing in your way, but nothing is there—only an opportunity to do your best and gain some success.
If it turns out my best isn’t good enough, then at least I’ll never be able to look back and say I was too afraid to try. Maybe I just didn’t have it. Maybe I just wasn’t good enough. There’s nothing wrong with that and nothing to be afraid of either. Failure always made me try harder the next time.
My advice is “think positive” and “find fuel in failure.” Sometimes failure gets you closer to where you want to be. The greatest inventions in the world had hundreds of failures before answers were found.
Fear sometimes comes from a lack of focus or concentration. If you know you are doing the right things, just relax and perform. Forget about the outcome. You can’t control anything anyway.
When you make a presentation in business, you may do all the things necessary, but then it’s out of your hands. Either the clients like the presentation, or they don’t. It’s up to the client or the buyer. So don’t worry about it.
I can accept failure. Everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying. It doesn’t matter if you win as long as you give everything in your heart and work at it 110 percent. If you put in the work, the results will come. I can’t do things halfheartedly. Because I know if I do, then I can expect halfhearted results. That’s why I approach practices the same way I approach games. I can’t dog it during practice and then, when I need that extra push late in the game, expect it to be there.
But that’s how a lot of people approach things. And that’s why they fail. They sound like they’re committed to being the best they can be. They say all the right things, make all the proper appearances. But they’re looking for reasons instead of answers.
Overcome Obstacles
You see it all the time in business. There are a million excuses for not paying the price. “If only I was given a particular opportunity” or “if only the boss liked me better, I could accomplish this or that.” Nothing but excuses.
That’s not to say there aren’t obstacles or distractions. If you’re trying to achieve, there will be roadblocks. But obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.
You have to stick to your plan. A lot of people try to pull you down to their level because they can’t achieve certain things. But very few people get anywhere by taking shortcuts. More people gain success the honest way, by setting their goals and committing themselves to achieving those goals.
Our society tends to glamorize individual success without considering the entire process. What if you have a CEO with a great idea, but he doesn’t have the people to make it happen? If you don’t have all the pieces in place, particularly at the front lines, that idea doesn’t mean a thing. You can have the greatest salespeople in the world, but if the people making the product aren’t any good, no one will buy it.
Managers, like coaches, have to find ways to utilize individual talents in the best interests of the company. It’s a selfless process. In our society sometimes it’s hard to come to grips with filling a role instead of trying to be a superstar. We tend to ignore or fail to respect all the parts that make the whole possible. Talent wins games, but team-work and intelligence win championships.
Everything I achieved can be traced back to the way I approached and applied the fundamentals, the basic building blocks or principles that make everything work. I don’t care what you’re doing—you can’t skip fundamentals if you want to be the best. But some guys don’t want to deal with that. They're looking for instant gratification, so maybe they skip a few steps. They’re so focused on composing a masterpiece that they never master the scales. You can get away with it through the early stages, but it’s going to catch up with you eventually. The minute you get away from fundamentals—whether it’s proper technique, work ethic, or mental preparation—the bottom can fall out of your game, your schoolwork, your job, whatever you're doing.
When you understand the building blocks, you see how the entire operation works. And that allows you to operate more intelligently. It sounds easy, but it isn’t. You have to monitor your fundamentals constantly because the only thing that changes will be your attention to them. The fundamentals will never change. There is a right way and a wrong way to do things. Get the fundamentals down and the level of everything you do will rise.
Lead By Example
I’ve always tried to lead by example. I never tried to motivate by talking because I don’t think words ever mean as much as action. A picture carries a thousand words. So I tried to paint a picture of hard work and discipline. Why not? If the person out front doesn’t work hard, why should anyone else?
A leader has to earn that title. You aren’t the leader just because you’re the best player on the team, the smartest person in the class, or the most popular. No one can give you that title either. You have to gain the respect of those around you by your actions. You have to be consistent in your approach whether it’s basketball practice, a sales meeting, or dealing with your family. Those around you have to know what to expect. They have to be confident that you’ll be there, that your performance will be consistent from game to game, particularly when things get tight.
Ultimately, coaches or players can say anything they want, but if they don’t back it up with performance and hard work, the talking doesn’t mean a thing. A leader can’t make any excuses. There has to be quality in everything you do—off the court, on the court, in the classroom, on the playground, inside the meeting room, outside of work. You have to transfer those skills, that drive, to whatever environment you’re in. And you have to be willing to sacrifice certain individual goals, if necessary, for the good of the team. A leader is also a person who has had past successes in certain situations and isn’t afraid of taking the chance to lead others down that road again.
Along the way, you also have to stand up for what you believe and hold on to your convictions. Every home, every business, and every neighborhood needs someone to lead.
Excellence in Action: “Think positive” and “find fuel in failure."
