Do what you love and the stress falls away.
The times I have been most stressed, frustrated or unsatisfied in life, are the times when I have been unhappy professionally.
When I am excited and passionate about a business pursuit, no difficulty, problem or set back gives me stress. When I feel fervently about a project I am working on, pressures and problems only intensify my passion and commitment to achievement, thus offering me even more personal fulfillment.
Now, when I am not loving what I am doing, building or pursuing or I am temporarily without a meaningful pursuit, THAT is when I am most unsettled, frustrated and well, STRESSED!
Admittedly I might be a bit of a freak. I have been accused of being a hyper-ambitious over-achiever, but I think most anyone would agree…
If you LOVE what you do and would do IT even over most things recreational, everything in your world translates differently. Challenges become inspirations and set backs only give you the chance to dig deeper and rally harder – all the while having a blast and finding great personal fulfillment in the journey.
Here is how it works:
Stress is created only when there is resistance. If you don't enjoy what you are doing, and you resent it, you are resisting it, thus causing you stress.
Thankfully, we all have different passions or we'd all end up doing the same thing. Actually, I find it amazing that someone can love to do something I hate and vice versa, and that somehow there is somebody who loves to do everything there is. In other words, with all there is to do, there is an individual out there who loves to do each thing. Cool how that works out, huh?
I find this just as wondrous as the idea that we live on a huge ball flying through space, rotating at over 1000 mph, choreographed perfectly with a smaller ball circling it, revolving around another huge ball lit on fire, surrounded by several more huge balls. (My "scientific" definition of our solar system). : )
Everything about life has such perfect harmony... unless it doesn't. And it doesn't if you are not doing what makes YOUR heart sing. If you are defying the laws of your own natural attraction, not doing what you love, your system will be out of harmony, creating resistance and stress on planet YOU.
"So," you ask, "if there is such perfect harmony with each person loving to do different things, then why do people end up doing things they hate doing?"
A kind of question that exposes its own absurdity, huh?
Here is my best guess at why.
Environment and Associations can be powerful, such as...
Family conditioning: Doing what your PARENTS thought you should do and living out THEIR ambitions. Haven't you evaluated a career choice or professional path with the thought, "What would my parents think of this?" Even as adults we do this, I know I have. We end up doing what makes our parents puff their chest up when their friends ask them what you are doing with your life.
Social conditioning: Doing what your peers thought was cool. Picking a career path based on how it sounds when someone asks you at a cocktail party, "So what do you do?" Striving for a title that catapults you high on the societal totem pole. Picking a profession for the money so you can keep up with the Joneses. Becoming a slave to the material lure -- a learned response that your personal worth is equal to your accumulated possessions.
Educational conditioning: Doing what your teachers or other mentors thought you should do. Our education system is great at mass producing little robots to work for someone who overcame the conditioning. Didn't you hear, "Get good grades, so you can go to college, so you can get a secure job"?
And, then there is the "I have no idea how I ended up here" syndrome. "One thing led to another and ten years later, bang, here I am."
Now is the time to TAKE BACK YOUR LIFE.
Don't let society or other people be the puppet master of your life. Live by your own passions; live for your reasons, your values.
If your work causes you stress, that is a clue that it is going against the grain of Who You Are and what You were meant to Become.
I'm sure you have seen many people work at intense paces for long hours, but do not experience stress at all, because they absolutely LOVE what they do. They couldn't be more exhilarated or having more fun lying on a beach.
When you have as much fun at your Vocation as you do at your Vacation, you have found your true love and passion. Then you are the richest among your friends, family and neighbors.
So, what is your passion? What work would make your heart sing and give you endless fulfillment? This is a subject I have spent a great deal of time processing for myself.
Let me give you some questions to ask yourself to find out. Only You know the answer to these questions.
O Who is living the life you most respect or admire?
O What about their life or profession is attractive to you?
O What did they have to do to get to where they are?
O What would you do if you had NO fear and were ten times bolder?
O If you could be / do anything without fail, what would you be / do?
O If you were awarded $10 million dollars (tax-free), what would you do with your time?
O What would you do if you only had 6 months to live?
O People say, "Oh, you are so good at ____".
O Write down at least 20 talents you have been given.
O What are your 5 most important values in life?
O Describe the variables to your Ideal business.
O What is your working environment, what type of people do you work with, what do you do everyday?
O You are in your rocking chair and your great-grandchild asks you, "What are you most proud of in your life? What did you accomplish professionally & financially?"
With the answers to these questions, you will get a sense of what your true passions are, and what your ideal career path might be.
We have all been given the ability to dream -- for a reason. We were given gifts, talents, ambitions and passions for different pursuits -- for a reason.
You can say we were made to live out our dreams.
To not live in accordance to your dreams is living out of integrity with Who You Are and Who You were meant to Become, which will cause you stress.
Pursue what you love and the stress will fall away. Not to mention you will live an invigorating, passionate and fulfilling life, exercising the full measure of your God-given talents.
Passionately encouraging the best within YOU,
~ Darren Hardy
Pass the 10 Secrets to a Stress-Free Life series onto a friend by sending them this link: http://darrenhardy.typepad.com/blog/2007/02/10_secrets_to_a.html
Posted by Darren Hardy on Thursday, March 01, 2007 at 06:04 AM in 10 Secrets to a Stress-Free Life | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)
Thursday, February 08, 2007
10 Secrets to a Stress-Fee Life (9 of 10)
Feeling the pressure? Catch up on all the previous stress-free living secrets: HERE
OR 1a, 1b, 2a, 2b, 2c, 2d, 3a, 3b-I, 3b-II, 4, 5a, 5b, 6a, 6b, 7, 8
9. Stress… Dish It Out!
As stated in installments 5a and 8 - we all have exactly the same number of days in a week and number of hours in a day. Steve Jobs and the checker at the grocery store have exactly the same amount of time each day. It doesn’t matter if you are young, old, black, white, Canadian, American, male, female – it’s all equal.
In this installment I am going to share a success tip that could not only significantly reduce the stress in your life, but also make you far more productive and successful.
How would you like to get 2X, 5X, 10X or more done each day in half the time?
Sound good? OK, here is all you have to do…
STOP TRYING TO DO IT ALL YOURSELF!!
One of the greatest success disciplines of super-achievers AND enlightened Zen masters is delegation. Learn to ask for help. Learn to trust and empower others to accomplish what needs to be done.
Let me give you two examples. One that relates specifically to stress reduction and the other on increased productivity.
Example – Stress Reduction
My wife and I have been trying to have a baby for some time. It has been a trying and arduous process. We have gone the route of IVF and have had several failures. Not knowing what the issue could be our doctor suggested we try to eliminate any stress factors affecting my wife.
When we got home I asked my wife what would help her feel more relaxed and centered. She said: 1) long walks on the beach, 2) quiet reading time, and 3) extended time for personal care.
She quickly added this was unrealistic since she had so much to do each day. Sound familiar?
I asked her to make a list of what those things were and had her “star” the ones that were particularly stressful.
The top of the list was: 1) paying bills 2) cleaning the house and 3) some aspects of her interior design business.
Simple, here is what we did.
1) We hired a book keeper to come in once a week for a couple of hours to manage monthly finances, 2) Hired a house keeper to come in bi-weekly for the major cleaning and 3) Hired a part-time assistant to handle the functions of her business that doesn’t require specific talent, but is laborious and time consuming nonetheless.
I had her schedule in your day planner her beach walks and reading time and I scheduled her for a bi-weekly massage for extra insurance.
Before you start with your “ya-butt’s”, let me give you example #2.
Example – Increasing Productivity
When I was in residential real estate sales (early 90’s – also mentioned in installment 2b) I was a productivity maniac. I analyzed every activity and function of the business to determine how to gain competitive advantage and increase production.
There are a thousand things a Realtor can be doing at any given time… and all the time – it’s a 24/7 business. I figured out however that there were only 3 PRODUCTIVE things I could be doing at any given time: 1) negotiating a contract, 2) sitting in front of a seller listing a house or 3) prospecting.
Those are the activities where my talent was needed and when I did something that affected the money meter. Everything else, while it might be necessary and still needing to be done, was unproductive.
So, besides those three activities, I delegated everything else. At one point I had nine (9) assistants working for me. I also produced more real estate sales than any other agent in the city times 2 or 3.
Alright, let’s go through your excuse list (I know you are dying to!):
I can’t afford to hire help.
That’s hogwash! You can’t afford NOT to. What is your time worth? What does it need to be worth to earn the equivalent of your goals? Is that per hour time more than what you pay your housekeeper, bookkeeper, janitor, receptionist, data entry person, etc.? If you make more or want to make more you cannot afford to keep doing those jobs – period.
Stop doing them and two wondrous things will happen – 1) You will have more time to be productive so you CAN make what you are worth and 2) you will have less stress because you will not have to do all that mundane and tedious work.
I could do it better myself.
Either, 1) give up on your goals and become a full-time bookkeeper, gardener or whatever or 2) find someone who CAN do it as good as you or at least adequately enough just to get it DONE.
I don't know if I can trust him to do it.
Most people who are distrusting are untrustworthy. Maybe you just need to lighten up and trust a little more or if they are in fact untrustworthy, fire them and hire someone else.
He isn't qualified to do it.
Train him to be qualified to do it or find someone else who is.
I don't have the time to show anyone how to do it.
I hear this one a lot. How much longer do you want to keep having to say this? Make time or you will NEVER have time.
I don't want to give up this task because I like doing it.
Do you like it as much as a massage or a walk on the beach? Would you rather do IT on Saturday afternoon than get together with friends? If the answer is no, then stop doing it, because you don’t REALLY like doing it and it isn’t productive.
I'm the only person who knows how to do this.
Let’s hope you don’t get hit by a bus. Train someone else how to do it – NOW.
She messed up last time, so I'm not giving her anything else to do.
Maybe it was the instruction? Hmmm, never thought of that did ya? If you feel you have given thorough instructions, clearly spelled out expectations, encourage questioning and interactive guidance and performance is still poor – fire her and get someone else. Chances are though, it was the former issue that was the real problem.
Learn a little something? Pass it on. Send your friends (or those you are going to now be delegating to ;-) ) this link: http://darrenhardy.typepad.com/blog/2007/02/10_secrets_to_a.html
Posted by Darren Hardy on Thursday, February 08, 2007 at 08:00 AM in 10 Secrets to a Stress-Free Life | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)
Thursday, January 18, 2007
10 Secrets to a Stress-Fee Life (8 of 10)
Need to catch up? Read previous installments in backwards sequence: HERE
OR any installment: 1a, 1b, 2a, 2b, 2c, 2d, 3a, 3b-I, 3b-II, 4, 5a, 5b, 6a, 6b, 7
Put Your Stress in a Box
Compartmentalize your stresses. This is one of the most valuable strategies I employ for managing a multitude of simultaneous stresses and pressures in my life.
Think about the things that give you stress and how much it consumes you.
Then think about the stresses a CEO of a multi-national, publicly traded company that employs and supports the lives of tens of thousands of people, dealing with the continuous pressures of Wall Street performance, board reviews, hostile takeovers and ever present legal and competitive attacks.
What keeps that person from a constant nervous break-down?
Think about pressures and stress a president of the United States faces with the fate of a nation as his responsibility, campaigning policies that affects the welfare of millions, giving speeches listened to by the world, going from one meeting of great consequence to another all day long while grappling with political sabotage and being the final decision maker on acts of war or defense from terror attacks.
What keeps this person from doubling over with exploding ulcers? How can anyone in this position pause, sit down and read a bedtime story to their child?
Here is how - Every issue has its time and place and until that time you do not think about it or give it any piece of your mind. You put it into a “box” only to be opened at the appropriate time.
For instance, I have seen friends who are going to have a ride-along with their boss, give a speech, lead an important meeting, be tried a court case, etc. on say a Tuesday and they spend all weekend obsessed and consumed by it. They stresseed during times when they could do nothing to affect the better outcome AND while they were stealing time from other activities such as time with their family or dealing with other things.
It is the “mounting effect” you create when you are thinking about or being consumed by ALL that is stressing you – AT ALL TIMES.
Here is what I do - I schedule out my responsibilities and tasks then schedule the time when I am going to start to think and deal with that issue. Now it is in its box, will be taken care of properly and I don’t have to think about it until then.
Example: If I have an important meeting on Tuesday at 2pm, I decide how long it will take to be adequately prepared, (say two hours) and I will schedule that time (say 11 am to 1pm) and close the box on that issue until that time. I will not even think about it or give it any energy until that time as I will be in the middle of other boxes of issues during work hours.
This way I am only “stressed” or pressured by the single the issue I am dealing with at that moment and not the aggregate of everything in my life that is pressure filled at all times.
Make sense? This is crucial. This is the major difference between you and what you “can handle” or produce and what the CEO of a billion dollar company can. You think about your problems morning, noon and night and the CEO compartmentalizes the issues and doesn’t let everything consume him/her at all times, thus can be many times more productive with the same 24/7/365 we all have.
This is how you can be a massive producer and still maintain balance and inner peace.
When not working I put all my boxes away and close the door to my office – not to be bothered with until it’s time to re-open the door to then pull one box off the shelf at a time according to the prescheduled time.
Then of course there is always all my personal boxes to deal with (at their appropriate times) until I get to the place in my schedule where all the issues are properly accounted for and scheduled (in their appropriate boxes) and it is time to just relax – but truly relaxed and in the present.
How do you do that? Be there, present, and do not open any of your boxes.
~Darren Hardy
Was this instructive? Pass it along to a friend by sending them this link: http://darrenhardy.typepad.com/blog/2007/01/10_secrets_to_a.html
Posted by Darren Hardy on Thursday, January 18, 2007 at 02:49 PM in 10 Secrets to a Stress-Free Life | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
10 Secrets to a Stress-Free Life (7 of 10)
If you are a new reader of this blog, we are in the middle of a series on how to live a Stress-Free Life. You are encouraged to go to our archive and find the articles that have led up to this edition. The one idea that could make a huge difference for you could have been discussed there. Go take a look
7. Just Say NO...
Nancy (Reagan, that is) was right... JUST SAY, “NO”.
I find it comical that we have more "time-saving" technologies today, to make our lives more convenient, yet we are the busiest (and most stressed-out) society in our recorded history!
OK, maybe it's not funny, but it's true.
Studies show that life for families, a hundred years ago, was a lot less stressful when we didn't have 90% of the "conveniences" we have today. Yes, today we get more "stuff" done and we collect more "things" in our garages, closets and attics, but we are not any happier.
In fact, it is proven that we are less happy today than we were before the microwave, the television, the computer and a hundred other things that were supposed to bring us more happiness and a higher quality of life.
Some fun facts about some of the major inventions intended to add "quality of life" over the last hundred years...
Electric Vacuum - 1901
Washing Machine - 1906
Plastics - 1910
Assembly Line - 1913
Electric Refrigerator - 1913
Television - 1923
Frozen Food - 1924
Electric Razor - 1928
Copy Machine - 1938
Microwave - 1947
Computer (UNIVAC) - 1951
Fiber Optics - 1955
Cell phone - 1973
VCR – 1975
World Wide Web - 1989
Blackberry (aka “Crackberry”) - 1999
And, to deal with all this "quality of life"…
Prozac - 1972
The key is to use technology and not let it use you. Also, use it more efficiently and to get done what you have to do so you have more time to do what you want to do.
I have a friend who can't say "no" to a request of her time. She continually creates such stress and chaos in her life that she often falls ill and suffers from continual health problems. Not only is her life always in total mayhem, but she can never complete all those commitments, so she ends up angering the people she set out to please. Crazy, huh?
Do you know someone who does just that? Maybe you sleep next to that person every night? Or maybe it is that person you see in the mirror every morning. (Yeah, that person!)
Be careful --this kind of insanity is never-ending, and ultimately could stunt your growth -- reducing your height by six feet. :-( Not good.
The remedy? Just say "No," or better yet, say "No, thank you!"
First, it is important you are clear about what is important to you and what your major goals and ambitions are in life. Once identified, your ability to accomplish them will coincide with your ability to not get distracted in your pursuit of reaching your goals.
If necessary, when asked to do something that will distract you from your important life progress, instead of just saying, "No", do explain...
"In order for me to accomplish the company's/family's overall goal, I have to do ______, which will benefit everybody involved, including you. It's important that I concentrate my time there. I'm sure you understand.”
This is the number two reason that people over commit and become a puppet in everyone else's agenda- they do not have defined values, goals and a plan to accomplish those objectives.
When you don't have a plan for your life, everybody else has one for you. You then live in accordance with everybody else's g.
So what is the number one reason people over commit, you ask?
Trying to please everyone; needing to be liked and approved by everyone; afraid if you say, "No", you will disappoint people or they will like you less.
Do you want to help people? Do you really want to make a difference for everybody around you? Realize the best thing you can do for another is have them witness you living in accordance with your own values and your own integrity. Exemplify someone who maintains a balanced, happy, peaceful and fulfilling life. This is the greatest service you can offer your clients, co-workers, friends and family. Sacrificing yourself for the agenda of someone else only perpetuates the cycle of stress and despair.
Read the previous paragraph again and again. Post it on your mirror, fridge and in your car – get it.
"The best way to empower the dreams of humanity is with living our own dreams."
- Neale Donald Walsch
Say "YES" to your dreams, - Darren Hardy
Pay-it-forward to a friend, send them this link: http://darrenhardy.typepad.com/blog/2006/12/10_secrets_to_a.html
Posted by Darren Hardy on Tuesday, December 12, 2006 at 12:20 PM in 10 Secrets to a Stress-Free Life | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Thursday, November 30, 2006
10 Secrets to a Stress-Free Life (6b of 10)
6b. The How-to of Journaling Your Way to Success
Follow-up to: 6. Write-Off Your Stress - Journal Your Way to Mental Liberation!
I got a lot of great feedback on Monday’s article on how to write-off stress from your life. Many of the emails were asking for more information on how I organize and use my journal. I thought you would benefit from an article written by the man who originally taught and persuaded me to start keeping a journal.
I now have a compilation of 17 years (over forty journal books full) of the best ideas, thoughts, observations and experiences I have collected, always available as a resource for future projects. My journals are indeed my most valuable material possession. Collecting thoughts on paper has become an important success advantage for me. I highly suggest it for you, too.
Keeping a Journal by Jim Rohn
If you're serious about becoming a wealthy, powerful, sophisticated, healthy, influential, cultured and unique individual, keep a journal. Don't trust your memory. When you listen to something valuable, write it down. When you come across something important, write it down.
I used to take notes on pieces of paper and torn-off corners and backs of old envelopes. I wrote ideas on restaurant placemats. On long sheets, narrow sheets and little sheets and pieces of paper thrown in a drawer. Then I found out that the best way to organize those ideas is to keep a journal. I've been keeping these journals since the age of twenty-five. The discipline makes up a valuable part of my learning, and the journals are a valuable part of my library.
I am a buyer of blank books. Kids find it interesting that I would buy a blank book. They say, "Twenty-six dollars for a blank book! Why would you pay that?"
The reason I pay twenty-six dollars is to challenge myself to find something worth twenty-six dollars to put in there. All my journals are private, but if you ever got a hold of one of them, you wouldn't have to look very far to discover it is worth more than twenty-six dollars.
I must admit, if you got a glimpse of my journals, you'd have to say that I am a serious student. I'm not just committed to my craft; I'm committed to life, committed to learning new concepts and skills. I want to see what I can do with seed, soil, sunshine and rain to turn them into the building blocks of a productive life.
Keeping a journal is so important. I call it one of the three treasures to leave behind for the next generation. In fact, future generations will find these three treasures far more valuable than your furniture.
The first treasure is your pictures. Take a lot of pictures. Don't be lazy in capturing the event. How long does it take to capture the event? A fraction of a second. How long does it take to miss the event? A fraction of a second. So don't miss the pictures. When you're gone, they'll keep the memories alive.
The second treasure is your library. This is the library that taught you, that instructed you, that helped you defend your ideals. It helped you develop a philosophy. It helped you become wealthy, powerful, healthy, sophisticated, and unique. It may have helped you conquer some disease. It may have helped you conquer poverty.
It may have caused you to walk away from the ghetto. Your library, the books that instructed you, fed your mind and fed your soul are one of the greatest gifts you can leave behind.
The third treasure is your journals: the ideas that you picked up, the information that you meticulously gathered. But of the three, journal writing is one of the greatest indications that you're a serious student. Taking pictures, that is pretty easy. Buying a book at a book store, that's pretty easy. It is a little more challenging to be a student of your own life, your own future, your own destiny. Take the time to keep notes and to keep a journal. You'll be so glad you did. What a treasure to leave behind when you go. What a treasure to enjoy today!
To Your Success,
Jim Rohn
The course I studied on how to keep a journal is this one. I recommend it.
How to Use a Journal - Includes a Jim Rohn Leather Journal
A life worth living is a life worth recording.
Jim Rohn's insights and guidance on CD guide you into using a major tool he has used over the past 37 years for gathering and collecting ideas and experiences. Also includes a Jim Rohn Leather Journal to begin recording your own life journey.
You can buy it for yourself or someone you want to help be successful HERE
Read the previous installments of 10 Secrets to a Stress-Free Life Here
Posted by Darren Hardy on Thursday, November 30, 2006 at 10:00 AM in 10 Secrets to a Stress-Free Life | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Sunday, November 26, 2006
10 Secrets to a Stress-Free Life (6 of 10)
6. Write-Off Your Stress –
Journal Your Way to Mental Liberation!
Whenever I get a head full of tension that I can't beat out of me in the gym, I sit down with my journal and process it out on paper. When I "talk it out" on paper, my frustrations never seem as overwhelming and formidable as they felt when bottled up in my skull.
I list out on paper all the seemingly colossal and insurmountable problems that I am tirelessly choreographing in my head. By the time I am done, the two-ton Mack truck (my mental illusion) that I once felt sitting on my chest, shrinks to the toy Tonka truck of reality.
After I have finished "Rolphing" my mental burdens onto paper, I create action plans to resolve each of these issues so I no longer harbor the contrived stress. Once I feel I have mental and emotional control of everything I had swirling recklessly in my noggin, I once again gain mental and emotional peace – ta da!!
Stress is created when we feel out of control. When we have a dozen issues swimming around in our heads and we can’t get our "mental arms" around them. This makes everything FEEL magnified and multiplied. The frustration mounts until eventually we walk into a post office and ... well, you know the rest ;-).
When we materialize our mental albatrosses onto paper, we see that our problems are not as big as they feel, nor as difficult as we imagine. This simple practice brings our troubles into manageable order. We then regain control and thus are emancipated!
The best personal coach you can hire – YOU!
You are wiser, more intuitive and intelligent than you realize. The problem is you are stuck in your head. You can be a great source of insight and coaching for others, right? There is no better personal coach for you than yourself. The trick is to get outside of yourself and out of your head.
The secret to doing this is to write out a list of challenging questions, then force yourself to answer them on paper. It’s amazing that while writing, a mysterious miracle occurs and you start coming up with answers that you did not know you had inside yourself.
Write-off these emotions forever…
ANGER
When dealing with anger I might ask myself, "Why do I feel like shoving a sharp stick into this guy's eye, repeatedly?" ;-) "Why am I feeling angry?” "Why did that person do that, really?" "What are they responding to?" (We know that anger is a response to hurt or is a cry for help). "Was there something I did that caused their action?" "Could have I done something to have prevented it?" Now that it is done, "If I were operating at my Grandest Vision of my Highest Self, how would I respond to this? Sometimes I'll use as a mentor whom I respect as a model. "How would ______ respond to this?"
The answer to one of the last two questions is usually how I will choose to respond. This process usually exposes my accountability for my contribution to the issue, and then my best and highest response.
BUT sometimes I'm still miffed, so then I take a page from Abe & Mary Lincoln's book.
During the Civil War Abe wrote many stinging letters to his commanders and generals fighting on the front lines. His wife secretly removed the letters from the mail box and they were never delivered. Abe was able to release his anger and his important officials were not subject to, nor in reaction to, his fierce lashings. Soon the issues that caused his temporary rage of anger were gone and forgotten and the relationships remained intact.
I have written many fuming letters or emails that were never sent. I felt better and I did not sacrifice my personal integrity by being caught up in reaction… and they did not get a sharp stick in the eye.J
FEAR
Fear is OK. Fear is an instinctual, protective response mechanism. Just be sure it is protecting you from physical harm and is not just a bruise of insecurity on your ego. This kind of ego is your false facade that is more worried about looking good than stretching the growth of your inner spirit.
Your inner spirit seeks expansion and the thrill of new adventures. So, ask yourself, "What am I fearing?" "Why do I fear that?" "If I do it anyway, what is the worst that can happen?" "Does it involve bodily harm or potential death?" (Just to put it into perspective). "Have other people been able to do what I am attempting to do already" ("Like, come on, yellow belly… If they can do it, so can you.” Yeah, I prod myself too.) "If I do it anyway, what is the best that can happen?" "How will I feel if I do it and I'm successful?"
INDECISION
Indecision is usually a result of fear. See the above process. I also ask myself these questions to confirm my decision - "Which decision is more in alignment with my core values?" "If I were my Grandest Vision of My Highest Self, how would I decide and what would I decide?"
Still uncertain? Call on Uncle Ben to help you decide -- Ben Franklin, that is. Yes, the Ol' Pro and Con list is still one of the best tried-and-true formulas for good decision making.
OVERWHELM or WORRY
As described above, just pour out onto paper all that is in your head. You will quickly see that it is less than it appears (which takes away overwhelming feelings) then create action plans to get everything done in a manageable order. There is nothing to worry about when you are back in command, at the helm of your life's ship.
There, we just saved you from a nervous breakdown, a head stroke or having the guys in the white coats come to take you away to the funny farm. Feel better? J
The bottom line is... YOU already know everything you want to know and you have all the answers to the questions that are plaguing you. Really, you do! You just have to learn to become your own shrink (personal coach) and ask yourself the keen questions. Ultimately, you'll discover that YOU are your own best mentor, and that you are amazingly wise and intelligent.
Cool, huh? I think so. More yet to come.
Taking the "Journal" to success together,
-Darren Hardy
Read Tips 1-5:
1. Create boundaries.
1a. “Uh, you forgot your Monkey”
1b. You get in life what you TOLERATE
2. Be the Master of Your Universe
2a. Feel it… really feel it.
2b. The GRAND Illusion… be fooled no longer.
2c. Don't be a blowhard! You are NOT unique
2d. End the Love Affair
3. How to Have Power Over the Outer World
3a. WHO is Controlling You?
3b. WHAT is Controlling You
3b (pt.2) WHAT is Controlling You?
4. Tug-O-War
5a. Feeling Stressed? MOVE!
5b. Making Exercise Easy.
Posted by Darren Hardy on Sunday, November 26, 2006 at 05:56 PM in 10 Secrets to a Stress-Free Life | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Secrets to a Stress-Free Life (5b. of 10)
5b. Making Exercise Easy.
Read installments 1 - 5a
You don't have to grunt, grind your teeth, and blow a vein in your forehead to get into shape. Your physical objective doesn't have to be Conan the Barbarian or Xena, the Warrior Princess, either, to be classified as healthy.
Simple and easy, but REGULAR exercise can help you achieve and maintain your ideal weight. By making exercise a part of your daily routine you will also reduce your risk of an early appointment with the Grim Reaper.
"I don't need to exercise, I'm skinny."Oh, the world envies you -- that is until the day you prematurely drop dead of an instant heart attack: "Elizabeth, this is the big one." Obesity is not the only evidence of poor health. You can be skinny on the outside, and fat on the inside. It's true -- some of the skinniest people you know might have congested arteries and stuffed intestinal tracts. Yeah, let's check your small intestine, Kate Moss!
Take my little brother, for instance, he looks like mosquito netting over a skeleton. Really, you'd think he was on the Gandhi nutritional plan. Yet, he eats like a garbage disposal. His diet is comprised of just that -- garbage. The stuff you and I probably wouldn't eat for an indulgent dessert, he eats for breakfast. Exercise to him sounds like something that happened in the Poltergeist movie. Skinny? Yes. Healthy? No. I'd bet on the Sumo wrestler in a stair climbing competition.
So, I'm making two points here: 1) Travis, get your narrow booty off the couch and run around the block, and 2) Physical appearance is not a complete indication of health.
If you don't rev that heart up and get it pushing blood vigorously around your anatomy, and you don't move out the tension stored in your body that is heaped on your organs, it'll be a short tunnel with the white light at the end for you. Pushing blood through the body will not only burn excess stored fat but it will also flush toxins and oxygenate your system giving you the energy and vitality you want.
Here are some suggestions on getting back to that ol' high school physique...
1. Don't make STARTING your exercise plan a big deal.
Don't wait until you go down and get your gym membership, get new running shoes, or vow to begin "next Monday". Just run out your front door today and don't come back for 30 minutes. It’s too cold outside? Super bad hair day? You can do what my mother does -- she runs in place for 30-40 minutes in her apartment! Yeah, her downstairs neighbors just love that. Ever try to read or talk on the phone while someone is running in place in front of you? Makes you understand the temporary insanity plea to a violent crime:) I'm kidding... kind of.
Here is the bottom line: There is no "I'll start when...." Do it today. Seriously, get your heart rate up for at least 30 minutes TODAY. No, driving home in rush hour traffic doesn't count :).
2. Consistency is the key.
Exercise, like every successful habit, is analogous to getting water from a well. Once you get water, you have to keep pumping the lever. If you stop for two weeks, the water falls all the way to the bottom and you have to pump hard just to get back to even. Otherwise, you can just pump it REGULARLY (at least 3 times per week for 30 or more minutes) and you will make progress on your health goals.
REMEMBER, this is only in maintenance mode, which assumes you are already at a good weight and you eat properly as well. If you have a garbage gut then you are going to have to make it up accordingly in exercise. If you knew how many minutes it takes to work off a hand full of potato chips you'd opt for the apple. Also, if you are hanging pretty far off the sides and front, you're going to have to step it up just a bit to make up for some lost time.
3. Change it up.
Doing the same thing day after day, year after year will plateau your results. Your body will become accustomed to this routine and it will no longer be challenged. My dad has run and worked out all his life. When his knee didn't want to hit the pavement any more (the ol' football injury) he bought a rowing machine. Now every morning he rows his tail off for 20-30 minutes (want to get your butt kicked, try that!)-- and you should see him! Just like the lean, mean machine of yesteryear.
He also VARIES the type of workout he does. This is constantly confusing the body, giving it constant challenge and improvement. A lot of people run every day but can't seem to make any progress. They are giving their bodies the same challenge. Do something different. Do it in a different way. Run sprints, run hills, run in the sand, whatever, just don't let your body know what to expect day after day. When I'm at my place in South Beach, I'll even just run up and down the building stairs for a work out (I'm on the 28th floor!). Trust me, it'll make your heart want to leap out of your chest.
4. Make it fun.
Don't make exercise drudgery. Make it something you love to do and look forward to. So that if you don't do it, you miss it and can't wait for the next opportunity. Hike the mountains vigorously, bike up the coast, or throughout the country side, roller-blade, play tennis, racket ball, volleyball, tennis or swim. Try yoga, African dance, kick boxing, Tae-Bo, spinning; there are a thousand things, give them all a try till you find a few that you enjoy. No, playing poker doesn't count :(.
Whatever gets your heart rate up and keeps it up for 20-30 minutes at a time is the key.
5. Do it with someone.
This helps to keep it interesting. Spending 30 minutes on a treadmill goes by a lot faster if you have someone interesting to talk with while you're doing it. You could try coordinating your work out with a friend, but my experience is that this is short lived. You only have so much time to fit in a workout, so coordinating two schedules can be a nightmare. Then if they can't make it, it gives you another excuse to justify your own excuse as well.
My suggestion here is to hire a professional trainer. It is especially good if you need a kickstart to getting back into shape. They can give you an individual program to fit your goals, show you the ropes around the equipment and they'll be there looking at their watch holding you accountable. The commitment of the wallet will also encourage you to stay steadfast to your commitment to your heart.
Get started today! The best health care plan you can commit to is to stay out of the hospital. Which do you prefer, the hospital, the morgue or the gym? Wow, all of a sudden the gym sounds pretty good, huh?
I'm making an appeal for your grandchildren. The best gift you can give them, is YOU -- alive, to share their life with.
Happy heart pounding!
- Darren Hardy
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Posted by Darren Hardy on Sunday, November 12, 2006 at 03:05 PM in 10 Secrets to a Stress-Free Life | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Stress-Free Life (5a of 10)
Don’t miss some of the previous installments:
1. Create boundaries.
1a. “Uh, you forgot your Monkey”
1b. You get in life what you TOLERATE
2. Be the Master of Your Universe
2a. Feel it… really feel it.
2b. The GRAND Illusion… be fooled no longer.
2c. Don't be a blowhard! You are NOT unique
2d. End the Love Affair
3. How to Have Power Over the Outer World
3a. WHO is Controlling You?
3b. WHAT is Controlling You
3b (pt.2) WHAT is Controlling You?
4. Tug-O-War
5a. Feeling Stressed? MOVE!
Perform an “Exercism” - Exercise the stress out of you.
In this day and age you have to already be convinced of the mind-body connection to your health. Just as a cut on your finger will aggravate your mental concentration, so will collecting mental battle wounds and pressures all day, drag your body down.
You store your mental stress in your body. The only way to get the stress out of your mind is to get it out of your body.
Exercise is not only good to keep you looking good in that skimpy swimsuit or to keep you from dropping dead of coronary artery disease; it also is the key to maintaining your energy, and to staying in psychological and mental balance.
I know this from personal experience. I am religious about working out and have become very sensitive to the state of my body. If I don't work out for a couple of days, I can feel the tension storing up in my muscles, joints AND mental psyche. You know how some people become a little crazy if their blood sugar drops below a certain point until they eat? Well, that's how I become if I haven't worked out . . . ROARR!
Habits don't discriminate. The same way you arrived at any bad habits (e.g. smoking, overeating, drinking, watching mindless TV, etc.) is the same way you develop positive, healthy habits- by doing them over and over until you are uncomfortable NOT doing them.
What happens if you don't have your coffee in the morning? Even though you might not need the caffeine, you've "just gotta" have a cup of coffee. Why? Habit.
"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit" - Aristotle
Here is the good news: This can become the same for exercise. If you do it regularly, for long enough, you will "need" to work out to get back to your "normal" state of healthy balance.
Let’s eliminate a couple of whinny excuses:
"I'm too tired (whimper)!”
Have you heard that before? Maybe uttered from your own lips? You don't have enough energy to exercise? As Emerson said, "Do the thing and you'll have the power (to do it)". No where else is this more true. Vigorous exercise actually gives you energy. Do the exercise and you'll have the energy!
"I don't have time (sigh)."
Used this one before? There is no such thing as not having enough time. It's funny to me to hear people claim victim to some "time warp" in their life by comparison to everybody else.
Time is the great equalizer. We all have the EXACT same amount of time. Young, old, black, white, Canadian, American, male, female - no discrimination here; we all have exactly 24 hours everyday. What we do with it is a different story.
I guarantee, if I followed you around on a typical day, we'd notice that 3-4 hours are really just wasted away! The excuse of not having "enough" time becomes even more pitiful when you rank your health and well-being to the rest of your list of priorities!
What IS your list of priorities? Is your health more important than your career? Is your health more important than . . . bowling, your favorite sitcom, reading the paper, your golf handicap, happy hour, etc.? Without your health, none of those are even possible! Your health however, is possible without any of them. You can't be with your family, practice your spirituality or be a great friend if you don't have your health and energy.
So eliminate "I don't have time" from your vocabulary. Put your health into the proper priority spot in your agenda. Before you give any of the less important priorities your time, be sure you've got your daily requirement of exercise written in bold type on your plan.
Exercise long enough and you won't be able to function without it. You will become addicted to the great feelings, the strength, the vitality, you get from living a healthy life!
In the next issue, I'll give you some great tips to effectively exercise. I'll discuss ways to reach your optimum vigor and ideal body weight fast, and the most important key - staying there. We'll discuss how to make it fun, and something you look forward to all day rather than something you dread. Sound good?
Bottom line: I will give you some ideas on how to make living a healthy lifestyle great fun, easy and painless.
Are you ready? Until then, at least go for a walk around the block. :-)
Here to "pump you up" mentally and physically! - Darren Hardy
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To read previous installments of 10 Secrets to a Stress-Free Life, CLICK HERE
Other Related Articles:
· Is Stress Making You Fat?
· 5 Fast Stress-Busters
· Weight Loss Tips pt. 1
· Weight Loss Tips pt. 2
· Don’t Turn Your Sweet Dreams into a Diet Nightmare
Posted by Darren Hardy on Thursday, November 09, 2006 at 03:15 PM in 10 Secrets to a Stress-Free Life | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Stress-Free Life (4 of 10)
4. Tug-O-War
To access previous installments click here
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AUTHOR'S NOTE: I know your time online and reading email can be chaotic and distracting. To have this material really make a difference for you, it is suggested that you print the articles out and read them at a time reserved for relaxed, focused attention. Think of this as reading a progressive book, getting only a few pages at a time. –DH
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The great internal conflict: Knowing what you could and should do, versus what you are doing.
Not living in congruence with your values and priorities can be the most damaging causes of psychological and emotional stress.
"Gentlemen, I think I know what plagues the mind the most:
Doing less than you know you can."
- Jim Rohn speaking to a room full of psychologists
We are all given rare and unique talents and an unlimited capacity for greatness. I believe our driving purpose is to exercise and expand these gifts and see what we can produce with them. I think we have a responsibility to ourselves to actualize our highest potential; to make more of ourselves than we started with. I believe at a spiritual level we know this and that we constantly feel the tug of this ambition. It is when we ignore this urge and choose to do less than our best that we oppress our minds and our spirits.
"There is only one purpose for all of life, and that is for you and all that lives to experience fullest glory; your highest potential. Everything else you say, think, or do is attendant to that function. There is nothing else for your soul to do, and nothing else your soul wants to do. The wonder of this purpose is never ending. Should there come a moment in which you experience yourself in your fullest glory, you will in that instant, imagine an ever greater glory to fulfill. The more you are, the more you can become, and the more you can become, the more you can yet be. The deepest secret is that life is not a process of discovery, but a process of creation. You are not discovering yourself, but creating yourself anew. Seek, therefore, not to find out Who You Are, seek to determine Who You Want to Become." - Ancient Script
Growth and expansion is our soul's desire: expansion of love, joy, happiness and the development of our talents, recognized as achievement in the marketplace and love in our personal life. When we settle for less than this, a little piece of our passionate spirit is distinguished until people are, as it has been called - living dead.
"Most people die by 30 but we don't bury them til 65 or so” - Mark Twain
We are faced with the choices to define ourselves everyday.
· You say your family is your priority, yet you are looking only at their picture on your desk as you work late again. The family vacation is put off another year. You arrive home again after your children are already in bed.
· You sit on the couch with a bag of potato chips as you think about your declaration to lose 15 pounds. You cringe when you realize another Monday (the day you were going to start going to the gym) rolls by, although you have stated that your health has become a major priority.
· You lay awake at night realizing you have shied away from yet another viable business opportunity by making excuses to hide your fear of failing. All the while you state your priority to become financially independent and bring abundance to your family.
· You say your relationship is a priority, yet a birthday, anniversary or an important occasion goes forgotten again, missing the chance for the other person to be acknowledged by the person who means the most to them.
The weight of this psychological stress can be crushing. You feel stressed but you don't know why. It is the constant tug-of-war going on inside you – between the ambition of your highest potential and your daily choices and actions.
Are you living out of alignment with your highest values and priorities?
I love this quote:
"A man has to live for, and when necessary, fight for, his values because the whole process of living consists of the achievement of these values. If they are threatened, he has to be willing to fight and die, if necessary, for his right to live like a rational being in accordance to his highest moral values. Decide what you are willing to die for. But what is more important, what are you willing to live for?” -Ayn Rand
Most people have not even declared what their highest priorities are- the highest values in their life. In the next series, I'll give you an easy way to assess your most important values, to evaluate any disassociation and discover how to live in complete alignment with the real values of Who You Are and most importantly, who you want to become. This will serve to eliminate disjointed stress and help you begin living the life of your highest potential and soulful fulfillment.
And again, you CAN live the life you were meant to live!
- Darren Hardy
Read previous installments of 10 Secrets to a Stress-Free Life: HERE
Posted by Darren Hardy on Thursday, October 19, 2006 at 06:55 PM in 10 Secrets to a Stress-Free Life | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Stress-Free Life (3b of 10 - pt.2)
3b (pt.2) WHAT is Controlling You?
To access previous installments click here
The influence of your ENVIRONMENT continued.
In the last article we discussed the dramatic impact the environment of information and input we are bombarded with everyday has on your mind. Now we finish the discussion on how your physical environment can cause or alleviate the feeling of stress and anxiety in your life.
Ask yourself, what would make me feel more peaceful, calm and inspired at home, at the office or in my car? What would I need to eliminate and what could I add?
First and foremost, I would suggest- CLEANSE.
Clean the clutter. Your surroundings mirror the organization in your head and thus your emotional body. Don't give in to the weak excuse, "I know it looks like clutter to you, but it's how I know where everything is." If it LOOKS like clutter, it is!
See, that's the point, your mind takes on emotionally what it sees physically.
Give it the appearance of a stress-free, tidy, peaceful environment and it will be so, emotionally.
When was the last time you went into a spa and saw it cluttered with stacks of files, paperwork, bills and notepads strewn about? How would that make you feel? That is exactly why you don’t feel free of stress and relaxed in your home or office if it is a mess of visual clutter.
Three good rules I have learned that work for me:
1) One-touch rule - Never touch a piece of paper more than once. Either file it (out of sight) or chuck it. If you pick it up and set it down more than once, it is now clutter.
2) Clear - At the end of the day, clear your desk of everything (yes, everything!). File it all away. If you are working on some things, create an action file and put it all in there and in a drawer or briefcase for easy access the next day.
3) Purgatory - If you are unsure whether something is going to ever be important and there is no appropriate file for it, make a file for that (I literally label my file, “Purgatory”). If I am looking for something, I can go through it, but 99.9% of the time I don’t. Every 3-months, without even looking through the contents, I throw the entire file out. The one out of a thousand times when you throw something out that you could have used, is worth the peaceful state of mind you will have by not accumulating and keeping clutter.
That leads me to the last point…
4) Purge - Don't be a pack rat. I LOVE to throw stuff out. It's so invigorating. I feel like I am simplifying and ridding myself of psychic weightiness. It is cathartic and liberating. When you harbor stuff, it's an indication that you are also harboring emotional (stress) stuff.
You can start with cleansing your physical environment and it will start the process of cleansing your psyche and emotional “house”.
Bonus Tip: I PP in my closet too (Purgatory and Purge). The funny thing is we only really wear (regularly) 10-20% of the clothes we have cluttering our drawers and closets – you know, our “favorite stuff”. We keep that other stuff around for that rare (never) occasion when you might wear it again. It doesn’t happen (because you go back to an ‘ol favorite) and it just litters our drawers and closets anyway.
I create a purgatory section in my closet. If I don’t wear it for a year, I donate it the next. I give away a lot of clothes – nice stuff, but I just don’t wear it and I would rather not have it collecting dust, taking space and burdening my consciousness. You would be surprised how freeing and energizing it is to cleanse, simplify and streamline your “stuff”.
Alright, no more just reading and saying “oh, good idea” and not taking any action. Do it now:
1. Clear your desk now (yes, right now). File or store necessary documents (most of which is not necessary). If you are unsure, put it in a “Purgatory” box and put today’s date on it and the date 6-months (we’ll start you off slow) from now. When that date comes, don’t look and throw it out.
2. Clear the rest of your office the same way. Strive for as little visual pollution and clutter as possible – think “Zen”. Have only what inspires you in your visual environment and file or store what only reminds you of burdens and disorder.
3. Clear your bedroom and kitchen as well. All these environments need to support a stress-free consciousness. These rooms in particular need nurture and support your calm and positive state of mind.
Daily life will give you enough to be “stressed” about, what you don’t need is to constantly live and exist in a visually caustic reinforcement of stress, disorder and chaos. Eliminate the visual turmoil of your environment and you will be surprised with the energy you will have left to ward off the rest.
Feeling better already? J
